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Meeting notes   -  Lesson 109  -  ‘I rest in God’.

By Chris Boyd

This lesson is designed to take you into a different frame of reference. As you know, we are able to identify with the ego part of ourselves OR with the god-connected part. We can choose to see with the eyes of Christ or with the eyes of the ego. The ego is part of us but it tries to make us believe that it is all we are. If we do not go within – we go without.

We come here to learn about the ACIM including the intellectual content but as the course emphasizes, again and again, we have to ‘put it into practice’ by ‘changing our mind’ and ‘seeing things differently’ By relating from the ‘loving heart’ part of ourselves we strengthen that in all of us. We then go away from the meeting with a different perspective and try to keep that going throughout the week.

So ‘we rest in god’ – the most simple and beautiful affirmation we can have. But part of us is highly challenged! :-  Now, to break it down, what do we mean by God in the first place?

We were all brought up to believe, in some form or other, that God was an all-powerful presence that lived on-high – apart form us and who will judge us and if we aren’t ‘good’, will condemn us to an eternity in hell. A god very much to be feared! Whether we know it or not, we probably still carry in our subconscious minds, a fear-based perception of what God is!

But that is simply a construct of the ego. The ego is simply … … …
It constructs a model based on our experiences from the past and our prediction of the future in order to make up a scheme! It tries to give us ways in which we think we can keep ourselves safe and happy. It is, however, a scheme of manipulation based on fear and lack. The Course implores us to let that go completely.

Quote from the Text Ch.4 ‘The Rewards of God’:-
‘The ego does not recognise the real … … … … … … your attempts to dissociate it.”

So we know what we mean by ‘God’. But beware of the ego part in us hi-jacking the word and bringing fear in by the back-door! Our fear is always there … it alters our perception … we are still in the dream … beware!

So I let go of my thoughts of judgment, the thoughts that I think I know the value of  those around me and that I can predict the way the world should work. It is clearly arrogant that I think I should know everything! But remember, there is a ‘big picture’ that our tiny brains aren’t even aware of!

So what a relief to just let go control, and as the course says ‘I need do nothing’. Simply let go defenses, and listen from our hearts to the ‘universal divine spirit of love’ (or ‘God’) and simply follow his/its guidance – knowing he/it is ‘way more wise’ than we can produce on our own.

Author’s Note:
Some views and ideas expressed in this article are personal understandings and interpretations and some content may not be relevant to or contained within the publication ”A Course In Miracles” None of the content should be considered endorsed by the publishers of A Course In Miracles.



Meeting Notes on Lesson 74

by Chris Boyd

“There is no will but God’s.”

The power in the lesson is in trying it out and experiencing the peace and joy of being released from the conflict we normally experience. Even if you do not understand why it should work, just by trying it you may find that it is well worth doing and may show you the great power which the Divine Spirit of Love gives you just for the asking. If like myself, you find it hard to be committed to doing something which you don’t really understand then I will try to give you some insight into the reasoning behind why it should work and perhaps a wider generalisation of its application.

The lesson says 'this is the central thought to which all our exercises are directed, God's will is the only will'. When I read this lesson, it reminded me very well of the primary message of 'the course' - most of what I think is completely meaningless!

To explain what I mean let us recap a little.

The Course starts ... 'nothing real can be threatened' –that’s the world of the spirit-connected Christ-mind, that sees only Love and is motivated by only Love.

It goes on ...'nothing unreal exists' –that’s the world of the Ego, where we spend most of our lives. The Ego makes use of our ability to remember past events, create abstractions of what might happen and hence 'has a go' at predicting the future, in order that we keep ourselves safe and happy, in fact it is our attempt at creating our own salvation. Since we have free will, this ranges from simple thoughts like - there is a wolf jumping out from behind a bush so I must run like hell … or I noticed this morning that I had run out of milk … I must stop on the way home to buy some … this is where the Ego can be quite useful. But the Ego also tries to run everything, right up to the point where it decides the really deep stuff of judging the worthiness of others and 'rightness' or 'correctness' of actions and people - even to the point, in some individuals, of deciding who should live and who should die! Clearly the Ego part in us can get carried away in thinking it knows best and doesn’t stop to think much about the vast amount that we are not even aware that we don’t know about the 'big picture'.

To know the will of God is a function of knowing, through Grace, what is in our deepest heart. That Grace is always there, even if we don’t know it or can't get in touch with it. We are normally blind to it because it is crowded out by the 'easily seen in big lights' stuff that is in our egoic mind. Our primitive alertness to anything fearful, whether in our conscious or subconscious minds, puts it there in big lights. The Course says 'we need just accept the atonement for ourselves' that is accept that we are forgiven, to remove this blindedness.

A quote from Miranda's book. 'Forgiveness asks you to compassionately recognise that your experiences, memories and feelings are perceptions, NOT FACTS!’

So to get into the heart, we need to quieten the egoic mind. You might think that there is a conflict then between the will in your heart and the will of the egoic mind, however, as this lesson points out, there is no real will in your egoic mind! What, I hear you say, if this person hurts me so badly then I have the will to push them down the stairs – I feel that is a real will!  NO - remember that what you experience as a will to strike back, righteously as you believe, could more correctly be described as an impulse coming from emotional energy that has been hijacked by conscious and unconscious egoic beliefs and survival patterns that were learnt at an early age when you were even less aware of the real 'big picture'. It would actually be safest to assume that they are completely meaningless, lest we make a big mistake!

By realising this I find that the power of my own egoic mind is much less in the forefront of my mind. And I realise that the egoic mind that is talking to me from others, is not the real person either, so I don’t take their attack so personally. As Jesus said 'they know not what they do'.

So therefore there is no will in the egoic mind - the only will which we have is that of our hearts - connected to the universal, loving, divine spirit. The Will we are talking about is something we don’t have reasons for, it is just something that we 'just know', in our deepest hearts, is love that we really want to share.

I thought I would try to give you a personal example of my attempt to see only the will of my God-connected heart. This is a simple example … you will each come across much more difficult ones ... ...

(Note - the details of this personal experience, which were recounted at the meeting, are not published here to protect those involved.)

... ... It also occurs to me that this is also a good illustration of another subtle little point which may be a help in us letting go of personal attacks and realising what level we are really identifying with.

So it is that the Ego part of us doesn’t even see Love and its resulting freedom from guilt. I have often thought of Jesus going into the midst of the Roman soldiers knowing that he would be crucified. He put up no defence or fight. I am sure the soldiers thought this man is stupid or spineless to be so un-defended. So the point I am trying to get to, is that if we choose to have Ego-thoughts in the forefront of our minds, then we won’t even notice Divine Love right in front of us. If we revere the ‘big Egos’ in our lives then the angels and saints will be invisible to us.


Reflections on Lesson 72  “Holding grievances is an attack on God’s plan for salvation”
Sam Webb

In this lesson we are again communing with God. This time we are asking what His plan for salvation is for us. Talking with God may seem challenging but this may well be because we think of ourselves as separate beings from God.

The reality however, is that we are not separate from God but inside of Him. From the text we learn: “ You are surrounded only by Him. What limits can there be on you whom He encompasses?”

 However, through holding our grievances we have been attacking God’s salvation plan and attempting to destroy it. Why? We have depicted God in our image as a separate body. We have assigned God the attributes that are associated with the ego, while the ego appears to take on the attributes of God.

So as we perceive God as the ego and therefore as a separate body that feels aggrieved by our wrongdoings, we expect Him to punish us for our mistakes before we can be friends again. This is why we reject and attack His plan. We as egos do not want to step down. In fact the ego’s fundamental wish is to replace God.

Our belief in separate bodies is the obstacle here.  Holding grievances is concerned with what we think another body does to us. We do not see the person behind the grievance – the person who could in fact be our saviour. Instead we are offended by what he does to us -  in a body.

And this is why we attack God. If we see His son as a body so also must He be a body  because a creator wholly unlike his creator is inconceivable. As God promises eternal life and bodies die, God must be lying and deceiving us by punishing us for our sins through death.

Grievances held against a brother insist that the body is real and overlook what he really is. We think we are our bodies and these bodies have been created by God. Our condemned brother’s salvation must be death and we hold God responsible for this .

Then the ego arrives as our saviour. The ego – our friend.  God – the enemy. The ego lets us know we are bodies and that salvation is associated with the body in some way. We either hate and try to hurt and humiliate the body or we love our bodies and try to glorify and exalt them.

If the body then is regarded by us as our main idea of who we really are, we are attacking God’s plan for salvation because God’s plan for our salvation has nothing to do with the body. We hear the ego and not the voice of truth.

Many spiritual traditions acknowledge this same truth and agree that the body is seemingly a major block in getting to God. Identifying with our bodies as the centre of our concept of ourselves is hardly surprising when we consider our constant involvement with it in terms of its insatiable needs for protection, care, and nourishment and its desires for physical stimulation and satisfaction. We make it our main priority. The idea of following God then becomes secondary and is made more difficult through our attention to the body.

Yet the course tells us we are not the body and that the body is simply a mental image that does not hold any real power over us. To escape the body all we need do is fully realise this. This realisation could perhaps be described as a transformation of our personal selves into our universal selves where we lose all fear including the fear of death.

From the workbook we learn over and over, “I am not a body, I am free” and from this lesson, “It is the body that is outside us, and is not our concern. To be without a body is to be in our natural state”

Obviously this is a lot to accept. It is much easier to imagine we are inside our bodies. How could we possibly believe we are outside our bodies?

We are drawn into this false thinking because our minds receive information from the body’s senses and we then assume we are inside the body.

We are told the light of truth is in us and that the body is outside of us and not our concern and to be without a body is to be in our natural state. We are to see ourSelves as separate from the body and this ends the attack on God’s plan for salvation which we are to accept instead. In accepting his plan it is already accomplished in us.

This is the goal of the practice today – To become aware that God’s plan has already been accomplished in us.

We are aiming to let go of our existing ideas about salvation. These are focused on the body and we want something else – God’s plan for our salvation – to take their place.

Our salvation lies in the acceptance of what we are and we are not a body. We are separate from and outside of our bodies. We are to replace attack with acceptance, lay judgement aside and realise acceptance equals accomplishment.

We enter into our questioning and requesting then with this background knowledge.
We are not asking the ego what salvation is or how to find it. We are communing with the Father.

“What is salvation, Father? I do not know. Tell me, that I may understand”

Up until now we have been doing all the talking. In fact we have been shouting our grievances so loudly that we have not been listening to God’s voice. So now we become quiet, humbly ask and quietly await his answer in the confidence and certainty that we will be given it.

There is that place of perfect peace where God’s voice resides and can be heard. In fact there is either only the constant ego inspired mental chatter or the stillness and quietness and to the extent of our willingness to listen and receive in the stillness will its effectiveness be determined. Jesus’s final lesson was listening only to that voice.
What now is salvation to you?

To me it was revealed as an assurance and confirmation beyond anything I could imagine with limited mind. I was immersed in the infinite caring, protection and unconditional love of God, the creator who had never left me.

“I have never, will never, could not ever forsake you. You have forgotten or ignored me but I am always here and we have never been apart.

In the midst of your greatest challenges, seeming catastrophes and personal tragedies you can know that you are safe. Your spirit was never lost. You can never die.

How could we be apart?  How could you hold a grievance that would obscure your hope of salvation from your awareness? Who you are could not do this. Who you are is aware that there is no separation. There is no journey. You never left. You are always at home. The world and the body are feeble in their attempts to lure you into false imaginings and insane beliefs when you are bathed in the realisation of our togetherness.

You know that when you imagine you are burdened and heavy laden you can again and again come unto me and I will give you rest for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. We have always had union.

The gift is always yours in this moment for you to accept”

Author’s Note:
Some views and ideas expressed in this article are personal understandings and interpretations and some content may not be relevant to or contained within the publication ”A Course In Miracles” None of the content should be considered endorsed by the publishers of A Course In Miracles.


Reflections on Lesson 70  “My salvation comes from me”
Sam Webb 

The purpose of this lesson is to bring us into the realisation that:

   . Salvation does not lie outside  of us
   . Both the sickness (from the illusion of separation and from guilt) and the remedy
     are within us.
   . We are joined with God in wanting the remedy

Guilt and salvation only exist in our mind. We are tempted to lay the blame for our problems outside of us and we avoid taking responsibility for them. Yet they only exist in our mind and therefore we can do something about them.

We can decide to be the hapless victim or the helpful victor. As the victim we believe the problem and the solution lie outside of us, as the victor we are already free through the realisation that I am saved from the separation I thought existed but doesn’t. 
“my salvation comes from me. Nothing outside of me can hold me back. Within me is the world’s salvation and my own”

The seeming cost of accepting this is giving up the idea of being rescued or saved by someone or something outside of us. But you are in charge. If it is to be-it is up to me! We have looked for salvation in the past in external places-“ in other people, in possessions, in various situations and events, and in self-concepts that you sought to make real. Recognize that it is no there”

These external sources may well provide some support, comfort and encouragement for you but we all must at sometime realise that “my salvation comes from me”

Because God wants us to be healed from our sickness our will is therefore one with his will. As sickness makes us unhappy, we do not want to choose it and God does not want this for us either.

As in the previous lesson we are given the analogy of the clouds and how we can push them aside and go towards the light. In lesson 69 we saw the clouds as grievances held, and in this lesson we are asked to see the clouds as the things we have attempted to use to gain our salvation. To see salvation outside ourselves or to hold a grievance   are both ways we use to give up our power and deny our responsibility.

Using a visualization such as this one with the clouds image can be helpful for many. The lesson goes further in suggesting a way that may help us in pushing past the clouds to the light. We are told: “If it helps you, think of me holding your hand and leading you. And I assure you it will be no idle fantasy”

Some of us can perhaps easily picture holding the hand of Jesus and being led past the clouds. For some, however this may be more difficult and possibly unhelpful and maybe a little disturbing, as we cannot picture exactly what this experience may be like for us .It could be that the attempt will lead us to a need for a healing in our relationship with Jesus.
Even this visualization, no matter how powerful you may find it, is still only an aid. Nothing, including the Course itself nor Jesus taking your hand, can do what needs to be done for you. Your salvation only comes from you.

In attempting this visualisation I found it helpful to ask myself and to consider what Jesus meant to me. His willingness to lead me. His past experience. How he had come back to be a willing helper for me. His relationship with the Father. My realisation that there is an awakened part of my mind that is remembering. To know that he is part of me like everyone else is. To know him as someone not out of reach as some unique divine being in the heavens. Taking his hand was therefore more like fusing with the light of Christ within myself..

Another couple of methods that may be of benefit in reaching the light within include Releasing  and Meditation.

It has been said that the reason saints don’t have bad thoughts is because they occupy a higher state of consciousness.

There are often energy blockages or obstacles lying beneath the surface – remaining in our subconscious minds. It is not logical rational thinking that is needed here, otherwise we would be dealing on the level of the problem. Consciousness underlies thinking. We must go deeper to release. Deeper than repetitious type prayer and affirmations.
“For all their repetitions they won’t be heard” These are obviously of some help but to reach areas we are no longer consciously aware of we must release (our deep rooted problems, our grievances and our worldly idea that things/people/circumstances etc. will bring us our salvation and happiness) onto God’s Light Presence within us
In deep stillness we release for sublimation and healing our subconscious accumulation of energy obstacles.

“If thy eye be single thy shall be filled with the light”
“Be still and know that I am God”
“Be in the world but not of it”
( Jesus could be in two worlds at once.- the enlightened/conscious state  and cosmic/Christ Mind state)

“You need not leave your room
Remain sitting at your table
and listen,
You need not even listen,
simply wait.
Just learn to become quiet,
and still, and solitary,
The world will freely offer itself
to you to be unmasked.
It has no choice;
It will roll in ecstasy at your feet”.

Franz Kafka
The Great Wall of China

We can tune into the natural flow- God’s Presence, or we can let the unnatural chaos untune us.

You can experience higher frequencies of energy which can lift you above and beyond the obstacle levels, the grievance levels or the false objects of salvation level.

Author’s note
Some views and ideas expressed in this article are personal understandings and interpretations and some content may not be relevant or contained within the publication ‘A Course in miracles’ None of the content should be considered endorsed by the publishers of A Course in Miracles.


Meeting Notes on Lesson 68

by Chris Boyd

“Love holds no grievances.”

God, as defined in ‘the Course’ is the infinite eternal Mind or Spirit Who creates like Himself, at one with him and is only pure love.

Love is the energy that wants us to be happy, whole, healthy, joyous, completely forgiven and free of guilt, AND wants us to extend that to all living things – unconditionally – just because, at our deepest level, we passionately know it is the right thing to do.

In the previous lessons we were learning to remember that each of us is Love and nothing else. That’s our real Self – our spiritual Selves. We are learning to remember that everyone is Love and nothing else.  Together we are all simply love, created by the Infinite Spirit of love and are therefore together, the Son of God with no separation between each of us, or God.

A reminder to forget the pre-conceptions of God as judgmental, punishing or vengful etc.

The lesson says: Love – or God – can hold no grievances – since it is simply love.

Holding a grievance is entirely a function of the ego. When you are holding a grievance you must be siding with the ego and not with The Infinite Spirit.
Now the first thing is to remember that we all have an ego and to not fall into the trap of guilt about it. We all have grievances from time to time and it is very common to relate from that part of ourselves. To do so, is not a sin (in the old sense) it is merely a mistake and does not deserve punishment. God/ The Infinite Spirit of Love does not see these mistakes and merely sleeps, waiting for a different choice to be made. Those mistakes simply prolong the time it takes to enter the kingdom of heaven.

But the ego is not to be condemned, it is just a little pet we carry around inside. It can do a lot of useful things like balancing our cheque-book or predicting when to buy more heating oil, but it mustn’t be allowed to run our entire existence – it mustn’t become us.

As humans we have evolved with primitive defence and survival instincts. These drives, along with our ability to think logically and abstractly, gives us the ability to re-create the world in our minds as we expect it to be. We then live in this mind-created world and there we think we are safe – we think we have salvation in our own hands! We think that this is the purpose of  our existence as a body and therefore all or most of our energy goes into protecting it and making this so. No wonder we come to think that that is who we are.

So why do we hold grievances? It is simply part of a primitive defence mechanism – at an unconscious level we think it keeps us safe. We do it deliberately – we make ourselves upset deliberately! Well, rather, the part of our mind that is undisciplined does it.

But I hear you say – I don’t make myself annoyed. If someone hurts me, I feel upset, anyone would. I don’t do it deliberately, its not my fault!
Let me first say - it is nobodies fault – no blame is involved. No room for guilt here – that would be an ego trick to keep you resistant to hearing this – and seeing your own power in the situation! The enormous power which Love gives you, just for the asking.

Becoming aggrieved is just part of your unconscious, learned conditioning. Part of your subconscious faulty beliefs.  It all stems from the ego part of us which uses a simple logic that it once learned did work when we were little. If something happens that I don’t like, or think shouldn’t happen the way it does, I will sulk, scowl, get angry, upset and often I will get my way – and I will be happier or safer. There then grows a belief that getting upset keeps us safe. And like all things which happen before the age of five, it is forgotten on the conscious level. – However, it is learned and it becomes part of an unconscious belief system that we are unaware of. Unaware of, but still affecting how we see the world – how we construct the mind-made world which we hold inside and expect to see, as we live out our lives.  Now, that worked when we were little but, as you know, we can get annoyed at other people all we like, we can get angry at the traffic jambs all we like – it wont change a thing! All it does is to build up a load of resentment which can just build and build till we are grumpy old men or women. Or worse, become ill, or have no time for the pain of others, or the ones who need us most.

So when I see the futility of holding a grievance I am determined to ‘catch myself on’ and choose to accept the world and its events ‘as they are’ and not resist ‘what is’ by ‘having a little tantrum inside’ that is just trying to manipulate the world into giving me what I think I want or else I will sulk – scowl – get angry – accuse – defend etc.

A quote from ‘The pathways of light’ web site:-
How to make them (the grievances) feel unwelcome here? I will remain vigilant today and try to catch each thought and turn it back at the door. I will look to Holy Spirit to help me. The ACIM text says, “Your newborn purpose is nursed by angels, cherished by the Holy Spirit and protected by God Himself." How can I fail?


Author’s note
Some views and ideas expressed in this article are personal understandings and interpretations and some content may not be relevant or contained within the publication ‘A Course in miracles’. None of the content should be considered endorsed by the publishers of  'A Course in Miracles'.

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